Commitment Phobia | Exeter
Commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, relationships in particular, but can include other areas of life such as career or home-ownership.
The term commitment phobia was coined in the popular self-help book Men Who Can't Love in 1987. Following criticism of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitment phobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitment phobia in a later work, He's Scared, She's Scared.
People tend to think of Commitment Phobics as people who run away from relationships, in fact some Commitments Phobics do not run away, but rather settle for inappropriate partners. They can have been in a long-term relationship and suddenly the fear kicks in and they feel trapped.
It can also spill over into others areas of life such as career and home-ownership.
Commitment Phobia Symptoms
The most typical symptoms of Commitment Phobia are:
- Being overly critical of the other partner in the relationship
- Hurting or annoying their partner
- Rejecting others right from the go – scared of being noticed
- Sabotaging the relationship in all kinds of ways
- Being flirtatious and affectionate until the fear wins out
- Having a series of relationships – considered promiscuous by friends
- Deliberately choosing a person who can’t or won’t commit
- Falling in love with someone they know isn’t interested in a long-term relationship
- Genuinely want to meet Mr or Miss Right and get married but having unrealistic ideals regarding possible partners
- Leaving a relationship only to return again later and then repeating it again – the yo-yo effect
- Afraid of committing to anything whether it be a relationship, family relationships, friendships, having a baby, job, hobby, buying a house or even buying a pair of shoes .....
Help for Commitment Phobia
Commitment Phobia is far more common than you may think. I have seen many people over the years suffering from commitment phobia. I am often contacted by the partner’s of commitment phobics looking for information. Once you understand that you are suffering from commitment phobia then it is important to know that help is available.
It can responds really well to Hypnotherapy and in particular, Pure Hypnoanalysis. The aim is not to ‘control’ it but to resolve the underlying issues.